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Anonymous
im in deep trouble! please help
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Schmidty

 in response to mypassion2...   In the 70's? Come on man I'm only a couple of years older and That isn't right ,it was still time for Free Love, Peace and all that garbage. I don't care what century it is in men don't think with the head on top their shoulders. (most of them) If he can get it , he doesn't care how, when or where. I remember crabs, clap, syphilis, gonorrhea and it was about that time that Aids came about.

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mypassion2
S small story of my life: Born 1959, went to school, college, military, got a great job making 6 figures. The in July 2006 I was driving home from work, beautiful, sunny day when out of nowhere a drunk drive hit me head on. My head went through the windshield, my spine was crushed, and now I am in a wheelchair with a serive dog "Baby" 155 pound Saint Bernard. I am on SSDI making a whooping 1300 a month, I was making that in a week. So things change but you learn to adjust, never give up
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CATLUV
 in response to mamashe/sheshe...   I certainly agree with the fact young females don't have a switch that goes off in their heads until 25 or so. You can be told over and over, have the information, repeat the facts and statistics, but then when it comes down to it, the thought that goes thru their heads is .. 'well, you can only really get preggers 3 days out of the month, if that, ... we will do this or that and it will lower chances of pregnancy ... and then there's, oh well, it's already done, I'll be in denial until I become really freaked out cause my period doesn't arrive.'
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mypassion2
 in response to CATLUV...   Way too much competition, its like we are going back in time. If a man truly loves a woman with his heart, not his penis then that love will last forever, the bond only grows closer, the flame gets hotter. Growing old together is the greatest time of your life.
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mypassion2
 in response to CATLUV...   Younger people between the ages of 18 and 25 sex is like shaking hands. When I was that age in the 1970's men were more resposible, it was't slam bam thank you mamm. I am 58 years old and I have seen the world change for the worst.
The worst disease you could get was "crabs" now you can die. You have to know someone before taken that intimate step. I was married for 36 years before my wife passed from cancer,and never did I once even think about cheating on another woman. I think younger women should date older men, they are dedicated, loving, and true.
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Schmidty
I don't think the age is 25. I think that it's not until 45 that it sinks in for either.
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mamashe/sheshe
 in response to Schmidty...   Hey there my dear Schmidty:--I am so glad I decided to check out aidpage this AM and was hoping to see some old friends to talk to and your all out here so I am thrilled. You know me Schmidty I can't let a topic like this just go by without raising me hand to tell my story. It's just my opinion which I changed after raising 2 lovely daughters. I always used to agree with what you just said Schmidty that women kept having babies for security or to make the man happy or for financial reasons. Well.....now that my daughters are 40 and 27 I can honestly say that in my opinion young women (majority) are getting pregnant because their just not mature enough to remember to use birth control like the pills or a condom and in hindsite I wish that I had my daughter on a intra uterine device that would keep her from getting pregnant for several years or the little hormone sticks they put in your arm and will protect you for up to 3 years. Young girls are really like.."DUH" when it comes to not getting pregnant, they are simply not developed enough in their brains to consider the big picture, young men are the same in fact it has been scientifically proven that humans do not develope that part of the brain until the age 25 so in essence they can't really help it, their just to stupid brain wise to think of consequences. My sister and I were talking the other day and she said she cannot believe the amount of retired couples that they hang out with and travel with that can't travel or do the things they planned to do because of their kids moving back home and bring ing with them a new baby or a new girl/boyfrend and the retired couples are now the caregivers to the grandchildren so the kids can get a job. Well I don't know about that senerio but both my daughters chose to leave my home at the age of 17 and I told them both that the only way I would support their decisions is if they got the more permanent birthcontrol that didn't rely on their brains to keep them from concieving. AND....the big thing I made quite clear is once you leave YOU CAN"T COME HOME to live only to visit and we all have a very loving relationship ......they have told me how glad they were that they went along with my rules. OK I've jabbered on long enough...love mamashe/sheshe
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CATLUV
 in response to Schmidty...   It's a very misguided and "mistaken belief" behavior and action, both on a conscious and unconscious level, in my own opinion, which never results in the outcome the female had desired or intended. It's along the same lines of a female believing that they can somehow "change" a man, using the idea, belief and hope that they are "the one" who will be so much better than every other past relationship .. and with that great love, being "perfect" - whatever that may look like for each person, situation and relationship - they will have this power that no one else had, to transform the male into what they wanted, thought should he be, etc. And when it doesn't work (and it doesn't), the female becomes increasingly resentful, among other things. There seems to be something "wired" into the female brain that says if this or that man fathers our baby, then we are "more loved" or "better" than others, and then, by default, they will then stick around for both the baby and the mother. Obviously this does not usually come together in the way hoped and intended, and everyone is left angry, resentful, and in one another's life for a very long time. Just because a man father's a baby, it does not guarantee love for the mother, and there really seems to be a disconnect and denial with this fact for many females.
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Schmidty

 in response to Anonymous40784...   I hate to say it but I think that they have seen enough people on welfare or heard about them that they figure having children is their safety net if the man does leave, or they don't feel like working. I only mean some of them but I think that the number is growing.Pop ut a couple of kids and they don't have to work for 18 years or so.

How have you been?

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Anonymous40784
 in response to Schmidty...   Hi Schmidty,

That is a valid point.
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Anonymous40784
 in response to bleu232...   Women will always be left holding the bag.
Alot of females in this generation will not listen to warnings of danger down the road.
So, I guess they will just have to suffer the consequence.
I guess the only thing we can do is to just keep warning young ladies of the dangers.

Thank you for helping me to understand.
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DrivenByFaith
Hi my name is T. I just found this site and I cant believe all the people in need that I'm almost embarrashed to ask but here goes. I have always lived a good, content life with a roof over my head and a career. About 4 years ago, after I left my husband, my son(16 now) and I met someone who dramatically/horribly changed our lives. I was beaten to the point that I was in a coma (I have a blood clot in my brain), I lost my son to social services for 1-1/2 years (defestating), lost our home and my careers due to my bad judgement of a man. All the while, living in Domestic Violence Shelters for years. In the last shelter, I managed to get a wonderful job and climbed up the ladder, got my son back and we moved into an apartment. All was great but then the wonderful company I worked for downsized leaving me jobless and homeless for 6 months since July. I receive unemployment (not much) and rent a room for my 16 yr old who is an awesome child, on honor roll and varsity basketball and self. These people are scandolous and kiniving and heartless people. They are forcing my son and I out by the end of this month (April). My car broke down last November. So bottom line is I have no job, no car and no where to live and Ive been online everyday looking to rent a room for my son and I BUT NO ONE WANTS TO RENT A ROOM TO TWO PEOPLE. I need any kind of help anyone can provide. We must stay in the city of Placentia/Yorba Linda for my sons next year (Senior) to get any full scholarships to fulfill his dream of being the next Michael Jordan. My son is unbelievable and I know he will be what he sets out to be but we need your help in any way possible. Forever grateful
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Schmidty

High Ladies, I'll give my point of veiw of why the woman keeps having babies even though she has no job, etc.
Now, this is my own personal opinion so if you get mad, get mad at me, I'm only speaking for myself. I think that women think that if they keep pushing out kids that the man is more likely to stayand it's giving him what he wants. The idea of keeping the family together for the kids sake. I think that is why a lot of women get pregnant in their first year. If I give him a kid he'll stay with me, I gave him a child, and of course he's getting what he wants.. Believe it or not, I have pondered that same question and that's the only reasoning that I could figure. In the olden days it was more for a large family and they didn't have birth control. They don't have that excuse now day's.

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bleu232
 in response to Anonymous40784...   There low self esteem. 3 kind words in a row and they lay down. I dont get it but I also dont get why the man doesnt use birth control either. Both are responsible. Why are men not using a condem for more reasons then birth control. Both are responsible but its the women left holding the bag.
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Anomaly
 in response to lyds...   You won't go to jail for unpaid debt.
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Anonymous40784
 in response to bleu232...   I can certainly understand being in love.
Yet, there is so many birth control available.
We as women still have to use our brains.
I can understand ONE error in judgement, but what about women to go on to have many kids with no husband?
Better yet, how can we get these women to 'think' before having kids.
Do you have any suggestions how we can help these women 'before' they make kids?
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bleu232
 in response to Anonymous40784...   No you are talking about a women that had a child out of wedlock? What must she have been thinking? She probably believed the man that was on top of her that said he loved her and would be there no matter what.
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bleu232
 in response to NikkiK...   Nikki...Hello come in. Sorry if you took offense? Who wouldnt? Let me ask you if you know how a women concieves? Women make children they cannot afford and live off the ex's paycheck. What is wrong with this picture? Man and women must have sexual intercourse to then have a child. Any man or women worth there salt will see to it that the children are raised no matter what. Please tell me you are not one of those men that sit in the bar complaining about paying for child support.
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Anonymous40784

 in response to NikkiK...   Hi NikkiK,

I have to agree with you. We are responsible for our actions.
I don't understand either: why so many women will have kids out- of-wedlock, when know that they have NO job, NO skill, NO education & NO way to take care of their kids.
I just don't understand that mentality.
Maybe, someone can explain it to me.
While you're at it, please explain to me "why some people get mad when other people don't help them with their kids. They get upset, scream & say terrible things to other people.
I mean, did other people help them "make that child"?
Why do they want another woman to spend her hard monies on them. Especially, when that woman had to work hard to get a skill & work hard, long hours. That woman would have like to stay home with her kids too. But, she had to work. So, why would anyone think that she would desire to give her monies so some other woman can stay home with her kids.

I'm not being rude, I just don't understand this mind set.

Note: I'm not talking about those who were married & found themselves divorced or widowed. I'm not referring to those who planned well or those who became a victim of circumstances, disabled,etc.

Please explain.............

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